


transitional buddies

by aqdanfin



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: First Time, First Time writing Smut, Friendship, Gender Dysphoria, Highschool AU, M/M, Smut, Teenage Couple, Trans Male Character, tw genital mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:52:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19760047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqdanfin/pseuds/aqdanfin
Summary: shane is trans, and afraid to tell willam about this, but willam doesn't mind.





	transitional buddies

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted on my wattpad account. courtney will be trans (ftm) in this oneshot and when it mentions nirvana, it doesn't mean the band; it means perfect happiness.

**Sixth Grade**

_Sex (Select One): [] Male [] Female_

I sigh quietly and look down at the survey. This is why I hate these things. Why don't they ever have the option 'other?' It would make things a lot more convenient. Don't the people that make these understand that some kids are confused about their gender? 

Take me, for example. At the moment, I believe I am male. My brain, heart, and actions say male. However, my body and the people around me tell me that I am a confused female. I'm torn!

“C'mon, Courtney, just pick an answer and move on,” my friend, Danny, tells me. He's not trying to be rude. He probably doesn't want the teacher to call me out for not picking a sex again.

“I'm sorry. It's not that easy for me,” I reply. “I think I'm a boy, but everyone tells me I'm wrong.” It makes me really sad when people tell me I'm wrong. It makes me feel stupid, too. 

Danny scoffs as if he's offended. “Screw what others say!” he replies. “You are who you think you are. If you think you're a boy, than you're a boy. If you think you are a girl, than you are a girl. No one should be able to make that decision for you.”

“And if you think you're neither..?”

“Then you're neither!” Danny replies enthusiastically. 

“Thanks, Danny,” I say with a smile. Thanks to him, I feel a lot more confident. I proudly put a check on the option: male.

“You're welcome...” he pauses. “Cole?” He's so open-minded! What did I do to deserve a friend like him?

“Nice try; I'll find a more gender neutral or masculine nickname to go by, soon.”

**Seventh Grade**

“Shane! It's here!”

I jump off of my bed and run downstairs. Adrenaline and excitement run through my veins. I feel even more excited when I see a blank box sitting beside the door. It's here! My first chest binder is here!

I smile and kneel in front of the box. Mum kneels down beside me and cuts the tape on the box with a utility knife. I quickly open the box. I feel tears in my eyes when I first see the black garment. I'm sure it will help with gender dysphoria.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” I whisper under my breath as I lift it out of the box.

“Is it what you wanted?” Mum asks. She was nervous when she ordered it. She didn't know if it would be safe. 

“Yes!” I reply. 

“Go try it on!”

I push the box aside. I run to the bathroom with the binder in my hand. I close and lock the bathroom door. I take a deep breath and look into the mirror. 

I set the binder down beside the sink. I take my shirt off and throw it to the ground. I make sure to not look down at my chest so I won't have a meltdown. I grab the binder and put it on just like a shirt. I struggle a bit at first, since it's a little bit like a sports bra, but I eventually get it on. It feels snug, but not too tight. I can still breath just fine. I pick my shirt up and put it back on. I turn to the side to see if my chest is flat or not. Luckily, it is! This binder works!

I unlock and open the bathroom door. I run back to the lounge room. I see Mum smiling. We're both excited! “It works! My chest is flat!” I exclaim.

Mum hugs me tightly. “You look great, Shane! Are you going to text Willam about this?” she asks. 

Willam is my boyfriend. He asked me out at the beginning of seventh grade. Of course, I said "yes!" Mum was a bit nervous at first; she was scared Willam would make fun of me for not being cisgender. 

“Um, probably not... Not right now. I still haven't come out as trans to him, yet. I've decided to wait a few years to make sure he stays with me,” I reply. “I didn't want to risk it. He could break up with me and out me.” I know he probably would not do that, but there's always a possibility.

“I understand,” she says. “Just tell him when you're ready. Remember: if he doesn't accept you, he isn't worth it.”

“Thanks, Mum,” I reply with a smile.

“You're welcome, Shane.”

I love her so much. She accepted me while my dad was disgusted. She soothed me after I broke down when my dad said a lot of transphobic things to me. That was just minutes after I came out. She bought me my first binder, paid for testosterone, and bought me "boy clothes" soon after I came out. She has to be the best mother ever.

**Eleventh Grade**

"Shane, you told me that you needed me. What's wrong?” Willam asks as he closes my bedroom door.

“Please sit,” I reply, ignoring his question. I pat the place beside me on my bed. He walks over and sits down beside me.

I bite my lip and look into his eyes. I'm nervous. He looks concerned. I wish he wasn't as worried. I am just going to come out to him as trans. So, of course I'm nervous. I have no idea how he'll react.

I have mentioned transgender celebrities in the past, just to see what he thought about them. He didn't seem to mind. He just saw it as a part of them. 

“You know how everyone thinks that I was born a guy?” I ask him.

“Yeah,” he replies, “because you were, right?”

Of course he thinks I was. When he moved into my town during the end of sixth grade, I had my hair cut shorter, I started wearing unisex or masculine clothes, and I was blessed with a flat chest. I even passed when I spoke! He thought I had an awkward high pitched voice like most other guys in our grade at that time.

“Well, I wasn't...” I reply. “I was born a...female.”

Willam looks shocked. I don't know if it's good shocked or a bad shocked. “No way!” he claims. “You wouldn't have been! You've been a guy ever since I've known you. You have to be cisgender!”

“Well, surprisingly, I'm not. I'm... I'm transgender,” I reply. I can't believe he's denying this. That's not bad, I guess. “I thought I should tell so you wouldn't be freaked out if we ever became sexually active with each other.”

Willam is silent. He stares at me. He starts looking me up and down. I look down and try to ignore his stare. “Please say something,” I plead. This silence is making my anxiety go wild.

Finally, he just pulls me into a hug. I'm surprised at the spontaneous action, so I'm a bit stiff and awkward at first. I soon relax and rest my head against his chest. Does this mean he accepts me? “So, do you accept me or..?”

“Of course I accept you! If I didn't, would I be doing this?” he asks.

“No,” I reply. “You'd probably be yelling at me or something. I was just so scared that you wouldn't want to date a guy with a vagina.”

“That doesn't mean a damn thing. You're just as valid as a cisgender man,” Willam assures me. “It's just a part of you. I love you for you. I'm glad that you trust me enough to come out to me.”

“Of course I trust you,” I reply. “You've stayed with me through everything. Even after every fight, you still tell me that you love me. I love you, too.”

“And I'm going to show you just how much I love you~” he whispers in my ear before biting it, which is an instant turn on for me. 

I become very shy when Willam pins me down to the bed. He kisses my lips firmly. I gladly kiss back. He runs his hands down my sides. And thanks to the magical hormone, testosterone, I no longer have embarrassing curves.

“I love you so much,” I sigh when he disconnects our lips.

“I love you, too,” he replies before he begins kissing my neck. 

“Willam...” I moan out. I tangle my fingers in his hair. I pull at it slightly when he bites my neck. He gets off of me so I can take my shirt off. He takes his off as well. Of course, they both end up on the floor.

“Have you ever had sex before?” he asks in a quiet tone.

“No,” I reply. “I just turned seventeen. I've lived with my mother all of my life, I couldn't ever do it. Plus, we've been together since seventh grade!”

“Well, there was that brief time in ninth grade where we broke up,” he reminds me.

“That was just two weeks,” I reply, “You apologized for everything right after Christmas break.”

Willam rolls his eyes and begins kissing and softly biting my neck again. I bite my lip to keep myself from moaning. My mother is just down the hallway; I'm sure she can hear everything.

When Willam nips the area between my neck and shoulder, I can't contain my moans any longer. “You like that don't you, Shane?” he whispers in my ear. It sends shivers down my spine.

“Yes,” I reply meekly.

Willam smirks and bites the area between my neck and shoulder. It does a lot more than the simple nip did. I arch my back and groan in pleasure. “Fuck, Willam,” I groan, forcing his name in.

He trails his hand down my stomach and to the hem of my pants. He unbuttons and unzips them. He looks into my eyes for some kind of permission. I reassure him with a quick kiss on the lips. “Remember, I trust you,” I say. “We have to make this quick.”

He slides my pants down. I feel my body heat up due to nervousness and embarrassment. What if he's never had sex with a transmale or a woman before? What if he does something wrong and hurts me? I mean, I do trust him a lot but I'm terrified! This is my first time! I don't want it to be a terrible experience!

“Baby, what's wrong?” Willam asks. He must sense my fear. I mean, it was obvious. I am starting to tense up a bit.

“I'm scared,” I reply pitifully. This is so embarrassing.

“It's okay, calm down. You can trust me. You already said that you did. Having second thoughts?” he asks.

“Kind of...what if it hurts?” I look up into his eyes, hoping to reassure myself.

“I'm not going to lie, it will hurt a bit at first,” he replies, “but at the end it becomes pleasurable.”

He gets off of me and takes his pants off. “Do you have anything like-”

“Like condoms or lube? Hell no. I didn't think I'd get laid until after highschool,” I reply. I guess the universe had other plans.

“Then this is going to hurt a lot more,” he informs me; he sounds apologetic. “We can stop and do this later if you want.”

I bite my lip and think. I'm the only person in my friend group that is a virgin. - Probably because I decided not to date one of my closest friends unlike someone else I know. It's time to become one of them. “It's okay... Do it. Please.” I try not to sound whiny; that can be a major turnoff for some.

Willam takes his boxers off before taking mine off. I haven't ever been fully naked in front of him or any other boy for that matter. I feel kind of weird.

He pushes my legs apart. I yelp as he begins prepping me. “I'm sorry, babe, I really am. Just keep breathing. It'll start feeling better,” he assures me. He's showing a caring side that I haven't seen in awhile; I like it.

Minutes later, he aligns himself with my entrance. I soon felt a sharp pain in my lower region. It causes me to grit my teeth and groan.

Willam kisses my lips as he begins thrusting his hips slowly. I begin breathing shallowly, hoping to get used to this. It's uncomfortable right now. I hope it gets pleasurable like he said it would.

“You're so beautiful,” Willam whispers, “and perfect.”

“Fuck!” I groan as Willam begins thrusting his hips even faster.

He kisses my neck in attempt to soothe me as he quickens his pace even more. He puts my one of my legs over his left shoulder. This causes him to thrust in at awkward angles.

He hits something inside me that causes me to moan and arch my back. Pleasure floods through my body. “Ah...” I sigh.

“...that feel good?” Willam asks breathlessly.

“Yes,” I reply. I'm just as breathless.

He continues to hit that something inside of me. It causes me to moan even louder. At this point, I don't care if my mother hears. This feels good. 

“I'm close,” Willam breaths out. He bites down on my shoulder. I accidentally dig my nails into his back. He grunts, possibly in pain. 

Seconds later, Willam moans loudly as he orgasms. I moan as well and tilt my head back. A warm sensation fills me. It feels euphoric; like a state of nirvana.

He slows to a stop. He then pulls out of me an lays beside me. We're both panting as he puts a blanket over us. “I love you so much,” he says as he wraps his arms around me. He kisses my neck.

“I love you, too,” I reply. I'm tired and happy. This was the best coming out experience ever.

I glance at the clock; it's 4:23 PM. Willam and I have time for a nap. I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes.

He kisses the top of my head. “Good night, Shane.”

“Good night, Willam.”


End file.
